inhale, exhale.

I just figured out that, one shall not jog when you are depressed.

I felt terrible today. 
And as I was told back then, exercising will increase the production of endorphins in our body, thus make you feel happier.  Therefore, I decided to go for a jog after work today (as usual actually).

It was a mistake.
The feeling of suffocation originating from depression and jogging just don't go well together.
I could barely breathe at that time.  The urge of tearing and inhaling somehow don't mix well.  I suppose I could only pick one at the same time.

I don't doubt that I am feeling way better now after jogging.  But that suffocating feeling made me cough quite bad during the jog.


There are thousands of thoughts going through my mind now.
Everyday I woke up, I felt like I want to go back to sleep, back to the dream.
Living in this reality almost seem unbearable.

It is not the first time I am having this feeling, but it seems to get stronger everyday.

Years have passed, and nothing have changed.
What have I done to myself?  What have I done to my life?
What AM I DOING now?
What is the true happiness for me?  What is it?  Where is it?




maybe I should go jog again.