work + contradiction + life
busy week.
work + exam + gatherings = awesome!
and i really do mean that.
keeping myself busy is the only way to keep me happy,
yes i know that sounds weird, but i guess it is the way to go.
well, of course, i have to say work != pressure.
tired?
yes, i am pretty tired.
lack of sleep to the max already.
i need to find that feeling back.
indepedence, the feeling that i do not need anyone in my life.
the feeling that i can surivive,
even the whole world leaves me alone.
it sounds silly, isn't it?
it is pretty contradictive as well.
you can always live without anyone,
yet you can never live perfectly fine with yourself.
it is like the diminishing return in economics.
with more people, you can produce more goods, until a certain ratio.
as you keep depending on your nearby people,
one day, as your "depending ratio" is too high,
you can no longer live by your own.
(yes, i admit i am currently studying my last economic exam...)
at one point, i am so tired of being alone, facing all these problems.
at the other end, i am glad i can deal with all these myself.
my life is just contradictive, i know.
i guess, i just want someone to be there.
to be there to tell me, i am not the only person in this "world".
to be there, so that when i am tired of trying,
i have someone to go back to.
yes i am having some serious homesick recently...
work + exam + gatherings = awesome!
and i really do mean that.
keeping myself busy is the only way to keep me happy,
yes i know that sounds weird, but i guess it is the way to go.
well, of course, i have to say work != pressure.
tired?
yes, i am pretty tired.
lack of sleep to the max already.
i need to find that feeling back.
indepedence, the feeling that i do not need anyone in my life.
the feeling that i can surivive,
even the whole world leaves me alone.
it sounds silly, isn't it?
it is pretty contradictive as well.
you can always live without anyone,
yet you can never live perfectly fine with yourself.
it is like the diminishing return in economics.
with more people, you can produce more goods, until a certain ratio.
as you keep depending on your nearby people,
one day, as your "depending ratio" is too high,
you can no longer live by your own.
(yes, i admit i am currently studying my last economic exam...)
at one point, i am so tired of being alone, facing all these problems.
at the other end, i am glad i can deal with all these myself.
my life is just contradictive, i know.
i guess, i just want someone to be there.
to be there to tell me, i am not the only person in this "world".
to be there, so that when i am tired of trying,
i have someone to go back to.
yes i am having some serious homesick recently...
but in reality,
there is no one you can truly rely on,
other than your family.
other than your family.
posted by 翼 at
4:00 pm
2 Comments:
it is a true fact that a perfect life does not last forever. I bet once a while you'd feel perfect being alone as well
and it is only true that u can do good things when you are with good people!
you are still just preparing yourself, it's just a small part of 'world' that you've seen... the much greater part of it awaits, just ahead!
Don't ask why's that you, but you simply have the opportunity to experience the lot of things that you haven't tried yet! Just see this as the changing period from one perfect experience to another, and it will soon come. Even if it's just pain that you are now facing, cherish it! Coz when the true happiness come, you will forget of all the sorrow immediately.
BGM: FF9 - You are not alone
all i can say is LIME CRUSH and get a good night sleep
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