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I feel like typing something here,
yet, I do not know what to type.
My thoughts are very complicated recently.
I kept pushing myself towards things that I do not want to do.
For example, forcing myself to be alone when the feeling of lonliness and sadness filled my heart.
I have the mind set that as long as you "practise" enough, once you get used to it, everything will be alright.
Do not judge me on that thought, since I think it is a bit stupid as well.
Yet, I managed to live through my depression through this.
Why am I typing all these up?
At this very moment, I want to talk to someone, I want to just, hear someone's voice, just to make sure that I am not alone in this world.
But, I do not want to call anyone.
Not that there is no one to call, just that I know, once I have a habit of calling people, I will never stop.
Therefore, I type.
I guess, that's the purpose of a blog to me
I type when I feel like I need to talk.
I type when I feel alone.
yet, I do not know what to type.
My thoughts are very complicated recently.
I kept pushing myself towards things that I do not want to do.
For example, forcing myself to be alone when the feeling of lonliness and sadness filled my heart.
I have the mind set that as long as you "practise" enough, once you get used to it, everything will be alright.
Do not judge me on that thought, since I think it is a bit stupid as well.
Yet, I managed to live through my depression through this.
Why am I typing all these up?
At this very moment, I want to talk to someone, I want to just, hear someone's voice, just to make sure that I am not alone in this world.
But, I do not want to call anyone.
Not that there is no one to call, just that I know, once I have a habit of calling people, I will never stop.
Therefore, I type.
I guess, that's the purpose of a blog to me
I type when I feel like I need to talk.
I type when I feel alone.
Labels: 情不自禁
posted by 翼 at
3:13 pm
1 Comments:
I am just wondering, are you ok to handle everything alone?
The process of getting used to lonliness is actually an attempt of 'not-demanding'...you keep everything to yourself. It is good to be strong alone.... but, please don't blind yourself from better available options.
If you have the resolution to control your lonliness, I believe that you also have the ability to control your other 'demands'... wish you best luck. We alawys build things up slwoly with a solid basis, don't make yourself hard.
Another question, what do you do when you feel happy then? :)
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